Sunday 8 April 2012

Ethics, Manners & Etiquette - Leaf - 1



A positive approach to life, enhanced respect, healthy formation and an eternal value are criteria that can make a perilous world limp back to the Almighty, a penitent in atonement for the crude joke committed by man on life and its Creator.  Where did the world go wrong so much that man failed to act right? 


Life is a two-pronged testimony which carries an everlasting message of eternal consequence. A one-time acid test in the form of life could be a boon or a blow to man’s aspirations in this life and the life to be.

Human beings may view life in a trinity of ways namely, as a divine grace to have become the elite of God’s creation, as a means to cherish human life with all its happiness and last but not the least, as a bargain in return for a heavenly bliss in the life to be. 

Human beings are conceived, given birth, reared, educated, married and then settled in a lucrative career or business as the case may be. They lead cozy lives with families and acquaintances. However as they advance in age they retire to a calm and sedate life till death does them apart. Prior to leaving the world, they would have ensured their children of positions similar or a couple of levels up the ladder of fame and achievements. The process of survival continues in this fashion till posterity. 


Death is an inevitable end and all creation must submit to this finale. Death renders man wretched and at the mercy of the supreme and infinite fountainhead of eternity and divinity, where he would have no one to plead for on his behalf. All glory, fame and achievements relished by man during the course of life shrink to an ambiguous past. Man might have during his lifetime brushed past a life of comfort with scores of human beings attending to him at his beck and call.  However, in the court of divine majesty his voice and only strength would be his past life, over which he would have by such time lost access too.


Indeed, formation of life is vital for man because it acts as the decisive factor for the aftermath.  None of the vane aspirations which man encounters in this life can spruce up his skeleton that goes up the pyre, to make even a iota of sense in the eye of the creator.  All the vain successes that man aims to achieve will be reduced to nothing without proper formation of life in letter and in spirit. As a matter of fact, all of man’s formative years, right from childhood till old age, might have been grudgingly molded to achieve mean possession of wealth, marital bliss and material happiness.  Unfortunately, these do not count in the sight of the Almighty. Formation of life demands a high level of morale, dignified standards, altitude in attitude and an impeccable character. A ‘Leaf-1’ in this direction comes to you under a new supplement toEthics, Manners & Etiquette”. 


Creation of an endless universe with a blue planet oddly suspended from nowhere in the zenith, flanked by scores of heavenly bodies in the form of stars, planets, moons, satellites etc. made no impact on the young minds, when as students they were told that the earth is slightly slanting with its north pole inclined towards the south.  What did it matter if the earth had an axis imaginary enough for the scientists to claim a discovery?


Apparently, such hard to digest truths and cumbersome facts would not so much as even amuse a world of nonchalant young minds for whom frolicking and experimenting with individual aptitudes make better sense in a world of carefree adolescence. Moreover, it is a universally acknowledged fact that no amount of cajolery or enticement can kindle curiosity, arouse enthusiasm or light up the capricious minds of youngsters whose only passion, among others, would hinge on a sumptuous treat with dainties and delicacies to sweeten their tongues! 


But with a no holds barred nuclear world positioning itself threateningly to drag humanity in to extinction, what is a kindergarten stuff like ‘Ethics, Manners & Etiquette’ aiming to crack? Obviously the old nuts! That the much published and parleyed about spherical globe is falling flat on standards and principles!  This could pose a dilemma if not a cause for alarm, since the safety of the universe, humanity and life in general would reflect handsomely on one’s ability to handle people, society and the world with élan. Moreover, the pronounced manner in which the world is gradually discarding norms of decency and discipline goes to suggest that there is need to intensify efforts to sharpen one’s attitude within the framework of “Ethics, Manners & Etiquette”.  Incidentally, these golden traits which go to piece out a life of righteousness are either becoming defunct or extinct altogether.


Looking at the present scenario and the way things stand as of now, do we draw an inference to ascertain as to where the equations went wrong, how the permutations took a leap forward? What instigated a handful of misguided elements backed by stray nations to take the centre stage in getting the battle lines drawn, in an affront to all norms of propriety and decency? And what went through the minds of these diehard murderers of modern day world to resort to annihilation of innocent human beings despite stiff resistance from the rest of the world?    


The message is loud and clear that when it comes to life and death, the world is ominously divided. Sadly so because the long vigil observed by human beings for bringing about a lull in the wake of two successive world wars only met with frustrating and defiant backlash by religious fanatics in the form of ‘extremism’ under a newly invented call for ‘jihad’.  All attempts by man to buy peace and bring about a period of serenity and tranquility were nipped in the bud by a bunch of wayward elements in connivance with few stray nations who engineered the call to make religion an irrefutable hood, jihad a plank and martyrdom an excuse to wipe humanity off the globe.


In effect, the long drawn out era of turmoil by way of conquests and aggressions, years of uprisings, bloodshed, battles, wars and persecutions all of which badly mauled a delicately knit web of human achievements only provided an impetus to an altogether new radical obscurantism which pervaded a hitherto beleaguered world. There was therefore, nowhere an occasion for man to even subtly cherish a semblance of respite from an overwhelmingly shocking disillusionment by a cross section of the populace. These and a string of related developments widened the gap between nations and people, bringing in to focus the great chasm of a divide which could, in all likelihood, culminate in a showdown by the two opponents namely ‘the righteous nations’ on the one hand and the ‘extremists’ on the other.


The entire globe is in the grip of a menace which ought not, under any circumstance, be taken lightly. Man has the potential, the will and the divine backing to surmount all manmade problems.  Overcome he must and that too intelligently and gracefully!

Sounding the alarm is no viable a solution! The world must counter the existing trend. In order to achieve this, man needs to set a process in motion. There is no dearth of options with the Almighty, but man as the ultimate beneficiary of life, needs to, of his own, evolve a way out of the mess. A moment of contemplation would do even the devil a plethora of good.  Unfortunately the devil’s attempt to do good unto himself gets thwarted by the evil within him, hence his prod at man.

Should the world plunge headlong in to a conflict that can have serious repercussions for world and humanity to the extent of risking its very existence?  Or should the intelligent beings maneuver a diplomatic solution to bring the naïve elements around to a common standpoint through reason and logic?


The imaginary axis on which the security of the world and the human beings rests has a slant that never was upright enough to face the creator who authored the balance of creation. The crux of the problem is not feminism or sexuality, not profanity either and definitely not religion. For the moment the security edge veers round to a critical area of deficiency namely attitude. 

Man’s slant tends to be imaginary and attitude flexible when it comes to gaining an edge over others, for a gain or a profit.  In order to snatch a favour he would even crawl on all fours. But for claiming an undue favour he asserts his unknown self to project himself heads above others.  In such instances, he acknowledges no age, capability, intelligence or even worship and spirituality.  This tantamount to outdoing one’s ignorance or bargaining for what world cannot give. The present day world is thus facing a gigantic dilemma where the axis has suddenly disappeared for good.  It is here that the focus of the world has been concentrated to all of a sudden!


“Ethics, Manners & Etiquette” starts with “Silence, simplicity and steadfastness of resolve”. It must be borne in mind that Silence is Eternity – Creation is Time - and – Man with a soul the image. When all three merge in to one, they form the Eternal & Supreme Being God.

Life is an experience, a very precious one too. And this experience becomes a fountain of knowledge for human beings.  The knowledge so acquired becomes the essence of a person’s worth.  But once this life ebbs out of a person, he loses his worth and the knowledge with it.  If a person does desire to attach any importance or worth to his life, he must put his knowledge to right use within the span of his lifetime.  In order to do this or to achieve one’s worth man needs to adopt certain norms in his day to day life. If neglected, he would run the risk of endangering first his own self, the society and the world. Consequently, life might as well become a war of attrition and man a torn wreck, human or otherwise.


As time progressed, the universe too aged.  It traversed the length and breadth of millions of years to the delight of man and his descendants. Nevertheless, it maintained the balance set in motion by Almighty Himself.  Despite encountering enormous hurdles on its voyage to attaining a full-fledged, fully populated and scientifically advanced epoch in creative history, it traced for itself a path unto destiny designed through divine will.  So did man who inherited the grandiose of a universe, and endured in succession the pitfalls and frailties of human life. However, he failed to stick to his steadfastness for long. His faith dithered, attitude wavered and circumstances found him impatient even with his contemporaries. Although he stood the ground and proceeded on to rear up his descendants, generation after generation, he could not take the world along. He failed to maintain the tempo, per force having to take in his stride the intricacies of a vitiated and badly mauled up atmosphere, surroundings, human beings and a world maligned to fall apart in the thick of deceit, fraud, jealousy, arrogance and selfishness.  These and a host of other factors made his task of mastering the art of interaction with fellow beings, born and bred on the same planet, difficult. His attitude gradually turned sour, interaction crude and his overall reaction extremely poignant.  As a result, the level of spirituality too dipped to levels of unfathomable depths. On the face of it, the one criteria that emerged as a saving grace was man’s intent to survive. Survive, despite a string of odds to the contrary like volcanoes, earthquakes, tsunamis, forest fires, asteroid hits, global warming and a long list of such compelling developments. These and such other catastrophes did not deter man from climbing the ladder of success in succession. The chain of successes, discoveries and inventions made him a force to reckon with. 

It may be recalled that for billions of years the universe lay enveloped in darkness till God the Eternal Spirit brought time and infinity to a standstill. The dark void then ceased to exist and the resplendence of divine glow submerged the dark universe. God then infused His own image and spirit in to the physique of Man.  He called him by name ‘Adam’.

The initial act of creation of man was followed by a sequel whereby God put Adam to sleep and out of the stillness of silent slumber, removed a rib from his side to shape woman, whom he gave to Adam as a companion. He called her ‘Eve’.

Through the centuries, the women category managed to rise to be the centre of attraction in a world of peevishness and boredom. By virtue of their gait, appearance and soft spoken ness, females managed to bolster their image as well as clout in a world of feminism which could otherwise have suffered an all time low with male populace monopolizing most disciplines in life. Women thus managed to command considerable respect both from among themselves as also from males. Would one attribute beauty alone as the key aspect which placed females distinctly apart from the males? No doubt such an argument might gain acceptance but more than the beauty what places them apart is their attitude. 


In a reckless world of hate and crime man needed to be reminded off and on, on the one only sublime lesson that God Himself wanted to teach the world namely ‘silence’ by means whereof He kept aloof from His creation for millions of years enabling man to abide by the gift of free will endowed by Almighty on his creation. Thus was coined the age old maxim namely “Speech is silver but silence is golden” by the learned men of ancient times.  Even though this masterpiece of knowledge settled down in the depth of men’s hearts, it was very seldom made use of by the not so perfect human beings.  So sublime was the lesson that human beings miss the fragrance of it only after they have had their say.  Yet, when life starts weighing down over daily chores how human beings wished that God had relieved them of their frailties.  But even in such a situation, howsoever worried they may be, whatsoever problems they may have in hand, the hapless humans take time off to look up and say “God help”.  Thereafter, there was a feeling of relief that they had placed their woes at the feet of the Almighty.  Then they took a deep breath and went on, quite relieved that whatever miseries they might come across would have to be faced in life, for there is no other way but to endure them till the end.  They least complained about the problems of their life to their neighbor, they did not smash their heads in despair because in the ‘silence’ of their hearts, they knew that there is a super human being up there to watch safe all.  This is the first lesson God himself wanted to teach us – ‘silence’.


Alas, the way man gave a twist to history is quite reminiscent of the golden age of creation and a carefree life in Paradise. How after many million years of human survival through several ages beginning Stone Age, Medieval Age right up to the present day age of computer and technology, how a cleavage of ideology within man’s core aspect of spirituality forced a section of the populace to thunder their wrath upon innocents sending thousands in to areas of irretrievable domain! How a narrow leaning by man to hammer down individual priorities forced an ambiguous thrust on hapless humans, thus bringing about an eerie culture of extremism! How come man failed to see eye to eye with his creator? Can man summon as much courage to witness the horrendous atrocities being heaped upon his own brethren in the name of the very creator who vouchsafes the entire universe? Humanity has passed through a long history of narrowing mentality which had the potential of destruction despite a chain of creative achievements in Science and Technology.  A peep in to history will suffice to make a judgment on man’s acts of naiveté inflicted on his own brethren!  Do we take a retrospective glance in to history to find out what transpired when?


The world leaders and heads of state went in to a huddle as bodies of scores of human beings both wounded and killed started flooding hospitals and mortuaries inside the US.  Agonizing pain, anger and defiance was writ large on the faces of people who stood straining their necks to avidly buy in to the news of the first ever mayhem wreaked by an orchestrated gang of terrorists.  The entire nation was outraged and the world aghast at the audacity of a handful of misguided youths playing havoc with lives of innocents, that too right at the heart of and in to an intellectually renowned edifice viz. the Twin Towers.  The gory incident set the tone for a show-down by the world against the perpetrators of crime; the world termed the move a ‘War on terror’. That was about the lingering image and aftermath of 9/11. 

The treacherous thrust and conspicuous brute force with which the extremists sought to demoralize the world through an attack on World Trade Centre only aggravated the resolve by the world  to root out the menace of extremism at all costs.  Consequently, the so called war on terror turned out to be a power game by both sides viz. the impulsive instinct discernible in the scores of thoroughly brainwashed youth lining up to face suicidal mission and the collective resolve by a determined world throwing their weight in to one whole in a bid to rid the world of extremism.


Where in the world is a whole universe heading for?  First man brought in democracy that gave people a right to air their views, hammer down their demands and stand up to higher-ups in a show of defiance tantamount to flouting all norms of discipline. Apparently, it amounted to peasants rising to be kings.  Gradually, such clamor for achieving people’s rights eventually got transformed in to a free for all tussle between haves and have not’s, weak and the powerful, people and the government, each unable to contain an urge to transform a demand for an otherwise assumed right in to a spate of devastation and mayhem. In short, mob playing the role of high heeled judges as though assuming the world to be at their beck and call. Close on the heels of democracy came Law & Judiciary followed by a honking media as if owning a license to blare out all that occurs or are uttered, at times even blowing incidents out of proportion.

The media apart, the focus has now shifted to the internet. An area free of all hazards which gives a free ride to people of all walks, to yell their unholy judgments in the manner they desired. As a matter of fact there is no dearth of sites on the net for those aching to yell hoarse any and all abusive comments the manner they desired, on any topic that suited them best. And the individual writers freely providing ample opportunity to these morally polluted muscle-wielding traders of utter nonsense to proclaim their views unleashed.


A free democracy has brought the inevitable upon a world of innocents.  Provocative comments rebutted with equally provocative remarks are traded freely on the assumption that the world was approving their judgments.

In the meantime, a process of reconciliation started ages ago between India and Pakistan has remained unresolved. Each side abusing the other and assuming that one has convinced the lapses of the other; as a result there has been no forward move to a peace process started long time ago.

In the meantime, extremism took the Indian sub-continent too by surprise and the confronting parties are unaware of what needs to be set right first, the border dispute or the extremist strikes.  Where the mob considered one particular section as their enemy, the fellow community confirms that they have nothing to do with the incidents being carried out by their fellowmen.


Then came about a 26/11.  Things got aggravated and instead of bringing to end a conflict of views and news, people just kept humming away their own side of frustration. In the melee, Ajmal Kasab, one of the extremist elements nabbed during the shootout in the 26/11 came to take the centre stage and all the ire is now directed against him.

Incidentally, there is no let up in the outrageous comments against one side or the other. To leash the mob fury on the net is nearest to impossible. Man needs to bear in mind that the world is running behind time. People have lost their morale and standard of ethics.  Man has lost control over man and life moves on with one group indulging in devastating acts while the other looks on in utter dismay.

Enough harm has been done to vitiate the atmosphere, the society, the nation and the world.  But there is more to follow.


It should be borne in mind that while the Law & Judiciary was fiddling with case files pertaining to 15 years or more, the 26/11 took place. So that meant another file added to the archives of human indulgence. Will man ever learn reason?

Mikhail Bakunin is forthright in his assertion when he averred that “to revolt is a natural tendency of life? Even a worm turns against the foot that crushes it. In general the vitality and relative dignity of an animal can be measured by the intensity of its instinct to revolt”. Do we see essence of reason in his statement?


Enough harm has been done in the name of chat and rights. It is time to bring the world around. The surest and safest way to achieve this is “Silence, simplicity and steadfastness of resolve”.

The immediate need for man is to come out of the reverie he is in, set aside his self complacency, and don a positive approach through ‘Silence, simplicity and steadfastness’. It is crucial to bear in mind that every word, deed or act would spontaneously invite a reaction from the other. Even a casual say once uttered to satisfy one’s impulse would meet with a response which could go either way, ignored or received in good part or with a retort that could wrong the ego of either of the individuals.  As such, it is vital that the world gave a serious thought to utterances lest the issue became a point to be regretted at a later stage.  It goes without saying that as long as the former is conceived in the right direction within the ambit of balanced perception and keeping general good and the well being of the universe in view, the reaction would not tilt the balance.  Otherwise it is disaster for the world, humanity and God.  Yes for God as well for then the gain of life changes hands. Therefore, it is crucial that we adopt a dual approach to seal any recurrence by first balancing our say, our action as also our reaction before passing on our mind or message at the court of another.


We discover scores of anomalies, in individuals, in the society we live in and our lives as well. Primary among them being, our temptation to overact or react to trifles, even if they never caused any injury. May be a slip of the tongue or an un-intentioned ‘bullshit’, a comment by way of humor, a frustrated retort or even an impatient frown. Unfortunately, we use different yardsticks for different people. We are low in “Ethics, Manners & Etiquette” and carry an extremely impatient ‘ego’ which might appear a stumbling block for those with whom we come in contact. We deliver homilies extolling lives of virtuous men, living or dead. But really, do our hopes, expectations, exhortations and the world of good we intend to project for others to follow carry the desired thrust? How we go about holding profiles copied to perfection but drawn from someone else’s imagination and holding certificates issued by men who might be worse off than ourselves in terms of righteousness with the sole intent to impress upon people who mattered! In retrospect, have we retreated in to our real selves to find out if we have undergone the required formation to place ourselves in a position to deliver? Can we rectify our tendencies, our advances or our utterances by adding a pint of sugar in to other’s lives, with a refined approach, calculated wording or an appealing smile? The sweeteners known as ‘smile’ could remove all ailments. If adopted, the world might take a leap forward!


Man makes light of even the weightiest of initiatives with least regard for the well-meaning intentions.  This amounts to outdoing one’s ignorance and bargaining for what the world or even God would not deign to give.  Man reacts hastily, sleeps over issues, procreates matters, and formulates replies to get back ready to trounce the opponent who least suspects these behind the screen maneuvers.  Then, armed with ready-made replies the former gets set to confront the opponent only to find the efforts go awry when cast. The reaction does not coincide with the well intentioned gestures of the latter. As a result provocation reverses by the latter. Both come under the grip of impulsiveness and the matter gets precipitated with a not-so-accurate an action that trounces the former to seal his fate. Both go down with none gaining an edge.

In a world diminishing in attitude and standards of morale, human beings have developed a penchant to physically possess, snatch or hold sway over tangible goods, benefits, territories and areas in abundance beyond human need and capacity to possess. This disposition has got man transformed in to a creature with instincts akin to Satan. As time progressed in to centuries, this instinct to possess took a sudden turn for the worse absorbing with it a farfetched stigma to annihilate human beings having no other course to prove their point. However, it only proved these killers and marauders to be losing a battle of conviction with no one, not even the ones professing their faith hastening to their rescue. It is proving the point that no man can claim victory by undoing God’s own creation through destroying life in entirety. Man’s instinct has thus become a farfetched dilemma to act supreme with intent to belittle human beings by outdoing ignorance. Man has thus become a hostage to man at the hands of satan.

Curiously though, with all the gruesome atrocities giving man sleepless nights, should one accept life as measuring up to a cheap hangover of fate to befall man when he least suspects or is it all a hallucination? A dig in to reality might provide the answer. Imagine for a while one such horrendous element getting trapped by way or an earthquake or similar disaster and ending up with a massive wall of earth shutting him out of any form of rescue by human beings and confined to a dungeon of death and destruction. If in such a state, Almighty Himself stole up to him and offered the saving grace of a choice to make, to either live a thousand years but in that very state and situation, or to die an instant death, what would his choice be, life or death?

Man submits to life on the plea of enjoying an uncertain life, a wee bit of comfort, a bagful of wealth, a company of relatives and friends accompanying him in life, which if snatched by fate, he would but opt for the pain which we name death.

Formation of life demands a certain degree of maturity, a realization of one’s aptitude and a conviction which should surpass the opponent’s thrust.  To this end one needs to own the right say at the appropriate time. Till then hold on to your ‘Silence, simplicity and Steadfastness of resolve’.

Why harp on the same theme namely ‘Silence’? Silence amounts to stretching a moment for reflection, contemplation or to regain the tempo.  Either way, it amounts to a pause or suspense! Silence may be at will, deliberate or forced upon but provides one with a chance to listen to another, to analyze the existing version or for a larger perspective for taking a peep in to how the world around us intends to react.


Silence has the capacity to deliver but not the age or experience. To succeed in areas of competition, one must cultivate a vibrant and emphatic attitude which can convey a strong and positive say across without thrusting one’s ego on another. It is here that the triplets namely ‘Ethics, Manners & Etiquette’ come in handy for transforming a down to earth human being in to a successful person.

A spirited silence can rout your opponents and drag them on to back foot.  It can reverse the thought process of critics, leaving them gasping for breath. Silence would leave the staunchest of hardliners in the lurch, with loss of composure and utterly confounded!  What need you further to launch your show of attitude under “Ethics, Manners & Etiquette?


Remember, a good listener attracts a keen friend, renders an atmosphere of congeniality and also assists in forming a circle of like minded people. However, in order to cherish an everlasting friendship one must have within him a sublime attitude, an unblemished morality and a sophisticated mode of ethics. Silence conforming to such a formula, where impulsiveness can be kept at bay, can supplement friendship. Friendship draws like minded people around.  Winning over a friend does not warrant an ability to influence others; rather friendship gives one an opportunity to broaden one’s outlook, enlarge one’s vision and provides with a soothing relaxation to mind.  But in order to achieve a celestial friendship, one ought to have the capacity to translate attitude in to words for which one needs to repose trust in ‘Silence, Simplicity and Steadfastness of resolve’. This segment of life deals with the oft forgotten and sidetracked topic viz. Ethics, Manners & Etiquette. ‘Ethics, Manners & Etiquette’ can garner friendship or enhance one’s reputation at public places.

Before tracing our footsteps towards ‘Friendship’ there is need to base ourselves on a firm footing namely ‘attitude’. Let us not forget that friendship accords us a plank, an opportunity to theme our lives on and a circle to rely upon.


In order to get acquainted with right people at the right place and in right numbers, it is necessary that you uphold a morale that should speak for your personality. Always project an image that should appeal to those around. When people are about, you need to ensure that you project a clean image in you.  At the same time ensure an image appealing to your colleagues especially your friends. But take care to seal this projection of yours within the minds of those around you, so as not to be construed as an ostentatious gesture. Rather, make it spontaneous by sharing the image with others. Impress upon people your unique image but keep within limits. And of course avoid bragging.  Let not your image allow harboring ill will or hatred for any one who may have not acted the way you would have expected.


Everyone cherishes a desire to ascend the ‘Pinnacle’. Why then dig holes in to your pockets when it comes to you superficially cheap? Tarry not! Be not an enigma but trace your answers to your dilemma in the next supplement of ‘Ethics, Manners & Etiquette’.

The writer is a Roman Catholic hailing from Kerala (a state known in India as ‘God’s own country’). His forefathers converted to Christianity after the arrival of St. Thomas, the Apostles of Jesus Christ, who set foot in Kerala in 53 A.D. That was nearly 250 years before Constantine was converted to Christianity and Christianity accepted worldwide as a Religion in 300 A.D.

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